Denrael

DEMOCRAT

• You have two cows..
• Your neighbor has none.
• You feel guilty for being successful.
• You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

• You have two cows..
• Your neighbor has none.
• So?

SOCIALIST

• You have two cows..
• The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
• You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

• You have two cows..
• The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
• You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

• You have two cows..
• You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

• You have two cows..
• Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

• You have two cows..
• You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
• You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
• You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
• You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
• Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

• You have two cows..
• You go on strike because you want three cows..
• You go to lunch and drink wine.
• Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

• You have two cows..
• You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
• They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
• Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

• You have two cows..
• You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
• Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

• You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
• You break for lunch.
• Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

• You have two cows..
• You have some vodka.
• You count them and learn you have five cows.
• You have some more vodka.
• You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
• The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have..

TALIBAN CORPORATION

• You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
• You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’s private parts.
• You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

• You have two cows..
• They go into hiding.
• They send radio tapes of their mooing..

POLISH CORPORATION

• You have two bulls.
• Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

• You have one cow.
• The cow is schizophrenic.
• Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish.
• The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
• The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
• The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
• The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

• You have a black cow and a brown cow.
• Everyone votes for the best looking one.
• Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
• Some people vote for both.
• Some people vote for neither.
• Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
• Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

• You have millions of cows.
• They make real California cheese.
• Only five speak English.
• Most are illegal.
• Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.